Life as we know it

Learning is exhausting and daunting and frustrating. Sometimes i wish it could be more exciting. Life’s predictability is so dull and unencouraging to me that I feel as if i’m at a standstill.

Anytime I need a friend. Will you be there for me?

There’s this song that I know called “Anytime you need a friend” but suppose  this time its not you that needs a friend; suppose it’s me. Perhaps i need you now more than ever before in a not so anticipated move of mine I find that I now have to reach out to you but who will I reach to if I don;t see anyone there, Least of all you.

I’m not too sure if I should leave the break to heal naturally or if I should try to mend what is broken before it’s too late.

Those odd little moments when I want to share my little joys and accomplishments and well of course I could share them with anyone really but after all this time its obvious who i really want to share them with. As usual the question is what should I do? I’m sure that I’ll have answers soon enough….Right? O.o

Acquiring patience is in and of itself a lesson in patience…. Isn’t that simply ironic.

The moment after when you wonder if you really did the right thing. I mean who am I kidding I know i wanna be loved hahah and you loved me sooooo whats my point? My need to be an overachiever rears its head at the ugliest and least timely of occasions. Ten years from now if I could come back and say,” Dear 18 year old me, I’ts not as bad as it seems trust me this is like  bump on your road of hikes so you better get ready.

 A second glorious case of PPS (Peter Pan Syndrome) of course. I mean the kid really knew what he was on about. Running away from home, adulthood, responsibilities he was living the good life.

On the bright side…Finding company. Its always nice to have a partner in crime/ indecisiveness which if you look at them they’re both kinda out of the way options (ie. indecision and crime. What can i say …and so far its only day one :|

Apples Blossom

Pears Bossom

Peter piper Portugal

That scary as hell moment when you realise you actually want to take a deeper look at that person in your life to see what lies just below the surface. You think your scared, maybe you are just a little but you still want to find out what it’l be like with them.

You are terrified to eff it up because u know that you don’t want to have any (major) regrets when you think about your time with them.

Man you want to be happy but just one thing is on your mind and when you’re in the moment you don’t realise it but wow its amazing how that one moment can hold on to your heart and your mind and do strange things to you.

One thing about making promises to never ever do that thing again is that you should keep them and don’t forget. Don’t let that moment ever change your life for the worst always make sure its for the best.

I’ve never yet heard a little girl say “When I grow up I wanna be a teen mother, and have a couple kids before I’m married to the man of my dreams. I don’t need to live in the house of my dreams or have that fancy car and It’l definitely be ok if I have to struggle daily to just stay alive and keep my children alive too because their father(s) can hardly handle themselves, muchless our children.” Nope, I gurantee you I haven’t.

Thats why it always makes me think deeply when I see anyone like this a friend of mine or just someone walking down the street. As a little girl I used to sit and think to myself, “When I grow up I’d like to be…..” and so my lis would go on. It would vary daily, weekly and annually from wanting to be a Police Officer, a Dentist, a Doctor, a Lawyer, a Pilot, I even considered being a housewife :) Basically my options were always open because at those ages I knew better than I do now that the world was at my fingertips and I could be anything i wanted to be (superheros not withstanding)

So today when I walk down the street, heavy bag on my back full of books from learning way to much at school I wonder what ever happened to the dreams of these little boys and girls all around me. I wonder if thats how they thought of themselves when they thought “When I grow up, I’d like to be…..” I mostly doubt it.

Change your mind and be who you want to be and let everyone else take their time but don’t take too long cus u don’t have that much time before you’re all grown up